A little over a year ago I made the decision to delete my Facebook page. It was the second time around for me (I deleted it a few months prior, but rejoined after constant urging), but this time I knew it would be permanent. I made a vow to myself that with all the changes going on in my life, I would make a determined effort to be a better person and even more so a better friend. This meant cutting out things that didn’t add any value – number one being the most popular social networking site out there today.
I know for many of you Facebook serves as a very useful tool. It helps you network, it keeps you in touch with distant relatives, or it helps you to promote your brand, company, etc. But for me, it added nothing to my life but stress, anger, guilt and often times jealousy and sadness – all emotions that I didn’t want to feel let alone from something as silly as a damn website. I would get aggravated by people who put their relationships on display (which I still don’t understand – but to each his insecure own), I would get upset when pictures of myself were tagged (um, ask me first, please!), I would get annoyed that it began to consume so much of my day. When the decision was made to cut the cord and never turn back it was like this giant weight was lifted off of my shoulders. Freedom from the pressure of being socially connected was now achieved and I couldn’t be happier (yes, I use twitter but that’s a different form of social networking in my mind and I will argue it with anyone).
With the removal of Facebook (I was always a MySpace girl at heart anyways), I was able to focus on giving the relationships in my life the kind of attention they deserved. The kind that takes a genuine caring and thought that the social sites had removed. It is now up to me to remember someone’s birthday and to send them a note about it. No more relying on the ‘because I should’ wishes Facebook would throw in your face. Don’t get me wrong, the birthday I had on Facebook was nice cause I had a ton of well wishes, but the one this year was even better cause all the greetings I had were truly genuine and came from the people who didn’t need an online reminder, they were the ones who remembered me in their hearts.
I’m still not the friend I want to be (I’m slow on emails and bad with the phone), but I’m a hell of a lot closer to it then I was while on Facebook. I have removed so much of the chatter from my life and I’ve focused on the people worth my attention. Forget the high school boyfriend who I haven’t seen in ten years, or the co-worker I lost touch with from my job eight years ago; the people I now give my energy to are the people who deserve it. These are the ones who add things to my life that are beyond explanation.
My apologies to those I left behind, but I have learned not everyone is meant to be in your life forever and you shouldn’t hold onto something because you feel it’s the right thing to do. That is not fair to anyone. The point is to take the lessons you learned from your time together and be happy for what you had. Then do what is hard but very important - wish them well in your heart and move on (and I’m talking both platonic and romantic relationships here – it’s not just boyfriends/girlfriends we have to say goodbye to – not all friendships are meant to last either).
So, to Facebook, I thank you. I am truly grateful for your existence because it made me a better friend. Becoming wrapped up in your network made me realize I had to escape and tune in to what is important. It made me pick up a pen and send a card to a loved one. It made me value what is near me and not what is behind me. It made me work harder for the future instead of dwelling on the past. It made me happy to be me – without any outside validation or “likes”. Who needs two hundred people who ‘know’ you when you have ten people who genuinely love you and don’t need a website to find you?
And just a note to support my point - out of my six best friends from high school (4 posse members and our 2 best guy friends) – only one of us is on Facebook. How do you like ‘dem apples?!?!
